Epiphany...NOBODY has EVERYTHING...

This will also be one of those "what is the meaning of life?" posts that I've been known to write.

As I was thinking about what I was going to get a friend of mine for his impending birthday, I was faced with the age-old question: what do you get for someone who has EVERYTHING? That made me think about what exactly is meant by "having EVERYTHING". And who seems to have everything in our society? Celebrities.

We revere celebrities. We adore them for what they have; they appear to have everything they (we) could possibly want. They live lavish lifestyles and cavort with the world's most visible, influential (and sometimes notorious)people. Their wealth eclipses the average person's lifetime earnings exponentially. They appear to have EVERYTHING. As a result, it appears that they have a lot of things just handed to them on a silver platter; free clothes from designers that we shell out our hard-earned ducats for, swag bags from awards shows that would make the average person feel like its Christmas in April, the ability to incite complete worship and mayhem simply by stepping into a restaurant. But look deeper. Do they REALLY have EVERYTHING? Are their lives REALLY that much different from ours, because they don't have to deal with some of the obstacles that we do? In other words, if we cut them- do they not bleed? My initial thought is that they do, indeed.


Shaq, who is 7 foot 1 (check), wears a size 17 shoe, has millions in the bank and scores of adoring fans- has a little dick (I don't know that personally- I'm taking Karrine "superhead" Steffans' word for it!)

Pamela Anderson- she who has the starring role in many a heterosexual male's masturbatory marathons (and perhaps in a couple of homo's dreams as well!)- has a very serious, if not lethal, form of hepatitis

Stevie Wonder- creator of some of history's most creatively musical songs- will never be able to see the beauty of purple in his lifetime.

Magic Johnson.













I'm sure even the "chairman of the board", Oprah Winfrey- who has more money than GOD and is probably the only person on the face of the earth that could singlehandedly solve the Cuban missile crisis, bring peace to the middle east, find a cure for the common cold, and get to the bottom of who exactly killed Tupac,Biggie, JFK and Jimmy Hoffa (all while encouraging you to live your best life)-has some perceived void in her all-expansive life. Who knows.

Some of my most beautiful, stunning, striking and genetically gifted friends have also been saddled with the most extreme cases of low self-esteem and self-loathing (whether they acknowledge it or not is another story).

It seems that many times we concentrate on what we DON'T have instead of what has been made available to us. We measure our success against those who appear to have much more than we do. Life, for some of us, is a scorecard of obtaining things that we lack (materially, spiritually, etc.) in a desperate attempt to have it "all". So...who REALLY has it all? I guess it depends on what you define as ALL? Is good health, loving family and friends having it all if you live in the projects- or in Iraq? Or is having millions in the bank but having to endure the disdain of all those around you something you can live with? Is there a middle ground?

I don't think I have the answer to the question for everyone. I was thinking the other day that if I had everything I could possibly ever want materially and have the unquestionable devotion of the love of my life as well as the guarantee that I would enjoy the health of an 18-year old for the next 80 years- would I STILL not feel complete?

I think the answer lies not in having it all, but in achieving HAPPINESS. Happiness, regardless of what your bank account, prognosis, or mother-in-law says, is the feeling that none of these things can limit or affect your peace of mind. PASSION drives us as human beings as well. Everyone will tell you that if you find something that you are passionate about in life (and would do it even if you weren't getting paid), that you are on the path to HAPPINESS. They would also go on to say that helping others has an indescribable happiness all its own. I would also add that STRUGGLE is another aspect of having it all- because if you never had to work for anything, how would you develop a true PASSION for achieving it? How would you appreciate it? Its only through surpassing OBSTACLES that we truly know our strengths. Into everyone's life a little shade must fall. It lets you know you're alive, human, mortal. Obstacles define your character, the lack of which prevents your character from fully forming. Imagine having every one of your wants fulfilled. How would you move forward, knowing that no matter what you did you would be satiated? What kind of person would you be? It has been said that “What defines us…is how well we rise after falling”. But what if you didn't have to struggle for anything? Trust fund babies and members of royal families must face this question sooner or later.

So, instead of asking ourselves what do we have to do to have it ALL, maybe the question should be: what will it take to experience true HAPPINESS?

I met a BEAUTIFUL woman named Shelly at a barbeque this past holiday weekend. We started talking about, of all things, what is "having everything", and what that means. Its funny how these things happen. Shelly said something that I think sums it up: "you know, having it all is actually just waking up every morning- THAT'S happiness."

Thank you Shelly...