Open Mike- Grown Man wit' MINE!!!

The scene: chad g. steps up on the makeshift platform stage at the open mike. He is dressed in grey Akademiks sweatpants, a white polo rugby shirt and white Nike uptowns. He adjusts his blue Yankee fitted- his "poet hat"- surveys the crowd for a few seconds, puts his left hand on the mic stand, clears his throat and then offers them this:
"Ahem!!! This piece is called "'Grown man wit' mine"- based (partly) on a true story..."






Saw him guzzling that “ghetto lemonade” at the Pink Tea Cup
You think I took my pseudo-Dominican punk-ass over to say “wassup”?
Saw him dropping it hotly at A P T
You’da thought I woulda opened my mouth a little, to ask him to drop it with ME
Behind him in line when he picked up his grande skim Mochachino latte
Seems like after he got his change and turned around, I coulda had SOMETHIN' to say

Clocked him eating brunch reading the Times at Bar 89,
Perfect opportunity!
Before I could move some dude from the restroom sat at the table and cock-blocked me

Peeped him drinking White Zinfandel at the Tower in ATL
and thought "damn, is dude following me?
'Cause if ya REALLY interested, roll up, broad-chested, and ask the kid for the celly".

But I know his type: ugly-fine with plenty of knotches in his Dolcegabbana belt
Satisfied with the facial and other more satisfying features he’s been dealt
Goin' thru boys and breaking their hearts with no emotions felt

But I wouldn’t mind being one of ‘em...

I need to just step to him and say:
"Yeah, you got pecs and abs and all that other jazz- but fuck dat I got those
Just like you nigga, I got deep eyes, full lips, 10 fingers, 10 toes
And you breathe air and fart and dream just like me
So all this posturin’ and side-glancin’ you doin' only tells me you’re not ready
For all the boy-passion and thigh-crashin’ and tongue-lashin’ I’m trying to give
And if you thinkin’ I’m just some good dick and wide back
Lemme change ya perspective.
Yeah you probably had ya heart broke and ya brain smoked by some boys not worth ya time
Well I have too and 36 years due, I’m finally a grown man wit mine
So if you not tryin to taste these lips and grab these hips you really losin’ out
'Cuz there’s at least 3 dudes RIGHT NOW who wanna know what I’m all about"

But then I stopped myself and realized I’m making all of this up in my head
That I’ve not said 3 words to this brotha and I’m already pronouncing him brain-dead…

WE DO THAT TO EACH OTHER, YA KNOW!!!!

So I walked up to him, with all this in my head and said “SUP”,
Convinced that his reaction would be WACK
You know what he did y'all?
He flashed me those pretty browns and those pearly 32's and said
“SUP” back!!!

So I said to him:
"Look, I'm not gonna do back flips and endure mind trips to let you know I think you FINE
I'm just gonna step in ya personal space and let you know the taste
'Cuz I'm a GROWN MAN WIT' MINE

And just when I exhaled and laughed and tried to find something else on my behalf to say
He opened his mouth and what came out COMPLETELY made my whole fuckin' day

He said:
See I think you too are fine and I'm a GROWN MAN WIT' MINE
So I'mma tell you what I saw...
I saw you getting choked up at the Pink Tea Cup
And standing at bay while I got my latte
And coming at the wrong time at Bar 89
And looking good as HELL at that party in ATL
So I'm glad you had the balls and gall to step up and all
to see if our vibes would grind

I said:
"Oh yeah? well I'm glad too, thats just how I do
'Cuz I'm a GROWN MAN WIT' MINE!!!"


WHAT?!!!